Worst Campout Ever!

I got called as the Scoutmaster recently. Yesterday was our first camp out. At least I can say there's no where to go but UP!

4:30 - Meet boys at the Church.
4:40 - Sort through pile of Scout gear.
4:45 - Kneel in prayer - praying that the tent I just picked out of the pile has enough pieces.
5:00 - Pray for real this time - with the group.
5:30 - Begin the 'Weave around Flower Mound' one eye on the tiny cell screen GPS.
5:45 - Detour from the 'right way' and end up meeting Ranger Roz (a la Monster's Incorporated).
5:50 - Roz - "Public campground is flooded. Did you Call the Army Corps of Engineers to get the key to the Gated Campground?"
5:51 - Scoutmaster - "Nope."
5:51 - Roz - "Where are you going to camp?"
5:51 - Scoutmaster - "Right Here??"
5:51 - Roz - "Turn Around - we don't take winter campers."
5:51 - Scoutmaster - "It's 75 degrees outside."
5:52 - Roz - "Turn Around..."
5:52 - On the road again - heading to the 'Gated Campground' - looking to mooch
6:15 - Gated Campground Locked
6:15 - Scouts - "There's a campground up by the dam"
6:20 - On the road again - playing swervey curvey in the Sequoia through Flower Mound.
6:30 - Weave through camp looking for any sign of "No Overnight Camping" - harder to find than Waldo.
7:00 - Unload and begin set-up
7:30 - Tents up and Scouts asking "Can we go Explore"
8:00 - Meet Ranger Rick
8:05 - Ranger Rick "No Overnight Camping"
8:05 - Scoutmaster - "No Sign"
8:06 - Ranger Rick - "Ticket Time"
8:06 - Scoutmaster - "We haven't camped anywhere yet - come back tomorrow"
8:06 - Ranger Rick - "What's your name?"
8:07 - Scoutmaster - "We just came out to practice setting up tents - we're not camping"
8:07 - Ranger Rick - "Are you leaving?"
8:08 - Scoutmaster - "Yep"
8:15 - Scoutmaster - "Good job setting up tents Scouts - now let's see who's the fastest at taking them down"
8:45 - On the road again - heading to Melville's back-yard (they have a fire pit).
8:50 - Scouts find bag of dinner rolls and begin snacking
9:00 - Arrive at Melville's play Rock-Paper-Scissors to see who gets to sleep on the trampoline - Scoutmaster wins.
9:15 - Try to start fire - run my brand new butane lighter out of fuel...match light charcoal won't light (expiration date is 1999).
9:30 - Grab the Scout Dutch Oven - Inside is rusted out so bad the metal is flaking off.
9:35 - Fire still not started - ran out of lighter fluid, Assistant Scoutmaster goes for some more.
9:37 - Scouts finish first bag of dinner rolls and find the second.
9:40 - Grab my Dutch Oven instead and ask Weeedman for the bacon he was assigned to bring.
9:41 - Notice the instructions on the bacon box (yes box) - "Pre-cooked, Microwave for 30 Seconds" what am I gonna do with this? Who brought the microwave? How are we gonna get the grease we need to cook the chicken?
9:45 - Bribe Mini-Melville to go inside and swipe a stick of butter from his ma.
10:00 - Ditch the still un-lit charcoal and go for the BBQ Grill on the back patio.
10:03 - Scouts peeling potatoes with pocket knives and the lone peeler Camille donated.
10:05 - Assistant Scoutmaster playing Pyro in the fire pit - squirting lighter fluid from 5 feet away giving instructions on what he calls "Boy Scout Juice."
10:15 - Scouts finish second bag of dinner rolls.
10:20 - Assistant Scoutmaster finally gets enough coals to use fire-pit instead of gas grill.
10:30 - Move Dutch Oven to fire pit and begin to add potatoes/carrots.
10:35 - Find 6 more potato peelers in camp box.
10:40 - Jonesey dumps 1/2 the potatoes in the fire on his way to the Dutch Oven
10:40 - Scoutmaster "Dammit Jonesey" - immediately followed by "Don't tell Bishop I said that."
11:00 - Dinner time.
11:20 - 1/2 of the Dutch Oven Chicken gone and everyone is full.
11:20 - Scouts - "We filled up on rolls."

My only question is - Do they FIRE people from callings?

P.S. No pictures will follow.